One of the writers at work and I have a running joke that started around this time last year. I forget exactly how it came up, but we spent most of 2023 joking that every day was a chance for new year, new you. You know, because every day technically starts a new 365-day stretch, right?
Now that it’s the start of a new calendar year, I find myself lingering on the idea of new year, new me. Partially because it’s that time when everyone makes resolutions, but also because I’ve learned lately I have a lot of growing to do.
Why I think I need to make some changes
Recently, I’ve been dealing with some serious mental health issues of my own, ones that I think have been hanging around in the shadows of my mind for years now and which got aggravated by some outside circumstances over the last couple of weeks.
Things are looking better now, but I was in a pretty dark place that I’m not entirely sure I really needed to be in. So it’s shone a light on the fact that I still have a lot of room for personal growth and that there are some things that I really need to sort out.
It’s been a little strange just because I think there’s still a part of my brain that thought I’d have it all figured out at some point, because isn’t that what adults are supposed to do? But as it turns out, there’s really no point at which you figure it all out. You just keep learning, and growing, and that looks like having it figured out to younger folks.
What this means
For now, I’m not entirely sure what a new geek will look like. There’s a lot that I still need to learn, and there’s a lot that I need to sort out from the state my mind’s been in.
But I’m starting to think about new ways to get myself back out into the world, because between my own personal struggles and the timing of the pandemic, I’ve become pretty closed off from the world, and that’s not particularly healthy. I spent a ton of time over the holidays working on some stuff in the hopes that I work up the courage to try streaming myself, and I’m thinking about trying again with social media, something I’ve really fallen off with.
I know it’ll take time, so I just want to thank all of you reading this for being patient with me. I’m not always the best at knowing when there’s something going on in my mind (something that Sekan recognizes way faster than I do, if I’m honest), and I’m even worse at admitting it, because a large part of me wants to carry on and pretend everything is fine.
SO HERE’S TO 2024.
