So far, the last half of this year kind of sucks.
As a lot of you know, August saw us saying goodbye to my grandmother. It was the first time I’ve really experienced the death of a family member, at least in a capacity that I actually remember. I didn’t do so well with it, and lost myself in fantasy worlds for a while.
I’m also reliving a lot of that right now. Less than a month later, Shane’s grandmother is in the same situation, and although I’m not as close with her as I was with my grandmother, it’s not easy seeing my family going through the same thing.
It’s like rewatching a painful cutscene, where you know what’s going to happen but are completely powerless to stop it.
I’ve been doing my best to be strong, and part of that is admitting that it’s affecting me more than I thought it would.
And I’m not going to hide that fact.
We all live with this impression that the people we see on the Internet live perfect lives. It’s something that many of us in younger generations have lived with since the advent of Facebook; people only post the best parts of their lives on social media, so it’s easy for us to think that that’s the entirety of their lives because it’s all we see.
Little snapshots of the happy moments.
It’s something I try to be cognizant of, especially when I’m looking at my own social media feeds. But I didn’t really think that people thought of my life like that until an actual friend of mine—someone I’ve known in real life for almost 20 years—started shaming me for constantly gaming.
Obviously, that is not all I do. I have a full-time job, a family, a home to maintain, hopes and dreams. And I know that, but because gaming is what I post on my Instagram account (you know, the one dedicated to my gaming blog), that’s what she thought I did.
She thought I lived in a perfect world, where I had no responsibilities like cleaning or chasing after toddlers.
For me, and for so many other bloggers out there, this isn’t the case.
Let’s never forget that the people we see on the Internet are real people. They have real lives, they deal with real problems and real emotions. They have real stories. Their lives aren’t perfect, and sometimes, they’re not okay. They deal with depression, anxiety, stress—everything that a normal human deals with.
And as far as I’m concerned, it’s perfectly okay to admit that.
I’ve always been pretty open about my own struggles with depression, which I’ve had on and off since I was 19. I don’t go out of my way to bring it into a conversation, but I don’t try to hide it. And I don’t think anyone should have to.
It’s something that so many of us deal with, and hiding it only makes it worse. It’s okay to admit you don’t have creative ideas right now, or that you’re struggling to find any interest in your regular activities. It’s okay to have sad days. And it’s okay to want to shut yourself off until you’re feeling better.
That’s what I’m dealing with right now. And even though I might struggle to play my favourite games for longer than 15 minutes right now, this too shall pass—and I’ll be back to myself before long.
So for all my fellow bloggers out there.
I don’t know how you deal with things, and I don’t know what you’re going through. But I hope, if the time has to come, that you don’t feel like you have to hide it from the world.
The whole point of blogging is to showcase what’s important in your life, and sometimes, that means sharing a situation that significantly affects you. You never know who will end up needing to hear your story.