From the desk of an absolutely exhausted geek

I think the last few months have been the biggest gap in posting for the entire time I’ve been doing this blog.

Honestly, I would be lying if I said that didn’t stress me out. For weeks, I’ve been staring at my blog calendar, not knowing how to start anything I had planned. And constantly moving back the deadlines I’d set for myself.

For me, that’s a hard thing to accept.

I’ve always loved—prided myself on, even—being the person who can get stuff done. I’ve even had a reputation for it at several different jobs. But lately, that motivation just isn’t there.

The unhealthy thing is that whenever these little bumps hit, I give myself a hard time about it. Like if I can push myself a little bit harder, I’ll be able to get everything done, and I’m lazy or some other mean thing if I can’t.

It never helps, and it usually makes it worse.

But lately, I’ve been trying to be more understanding with myself. For example, in the last month, I’ve dealt with:

  • A big (think first-ever) product launch at a new job that I started after a frustrating and demoralizing work experience that left me questioning my value as a writer and a person
  • An ongoing obsession with turning our house into a home, which has recently expanded into my first-ever attempt at a garden through plentiful seeds and peony bulbs
  • An unexpected run-in with appendicitis, which required my first emergency surgery and which I definitely thought would be like Dwight from the Office (who was back to work same-day) but instead knocked me out for almost a week (I am fine now!)
  • And a COVID-19 vaccine (hooray!) that made it impossible to want to do anything but nap for a couple of days

And with all that in mind, sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable to look at your to-do list, blow a big ol’ raspberry, and have a nap on the couch instead.

In fact, when I was doing some reading this weekend on what to do about my horrendous lack of motivation, I learned that’s a form of self-care. Which I guess I’ve been lacking the last little while.

So today, I want to put a reminder out there. Don’t forget to put yourself first, and take a break once in a while—even if it’s from something you love. Things you love get exhausting sometimes when there’s a lot going on.

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